Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
