I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
