do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
