The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize