i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
