I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
