you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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