I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
