the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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