I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
