Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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