Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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