At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
