I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
