i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
