I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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