I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
