It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
