so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
