Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
