I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
