i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So vagazzling was a success
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