YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
