Only a mothe r could love this liver
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
