He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
