I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
