i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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