You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
