Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
