My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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