I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
