Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
