It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
