The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize