I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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