mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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