I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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