who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
