he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
