So drunk its hurt
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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