Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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