could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bring me that man meat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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