You can't motorboat a personality
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
