mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
