Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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