so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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