also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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