the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
