this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
