My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
