Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You dont lie about slip and slides
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
