I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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