you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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