Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize