I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
