One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
