i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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