She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
