I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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