Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
