she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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