I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
