Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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