rhymes with "ouble enetration"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
