I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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