Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How does one acquire holy water?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
