i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
