they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
