you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
